


Is It Too Far

by hatefulofsorrow



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6614104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatefulofsorrow/pseuds/hatefulofsorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zero moves away and they begin their long distance relationship  (｡•́﹏•̀｡)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 3am

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always down to try something a bit different and I know my pieces are kinda long so i'm gonna try and make these short. I'll still have longer pieces but I'll try and tell this storyline in smaller chunks. (We all know they're gonna get longer and longer but we'll see how long I can keep it up lol)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero gets drunk. (≧～≦) 
> 
> This is after Jelena tells him he's being traded and he storms off after breaking that picture glass thingy...?

“What the actual fuck is that sound?” Jude was woken by the ringing and vibrations of his phone. He looked at the clock. “3am? Why, why is this happening to me?” He turned over and answered his phone with a biting voice, “What?”

“Mr. Kinkade? We have a tenant here whom we—,” the man over the phone was interrupted.

“Is that him? Isss Is that him. Did yoouuu call him? I told you NOT to calllll him but that’s him idn’t? You called him you mother fu—,” Jude could hear Zero badger the man over the phone and already started getting dressed.

“Mr. Kinkade I think we could really use your hel—” the man spoke again 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I’m already on my way.” He answered as he hung up the phone and walked out the door.

Jude walked up to the building and could see Zero draped over the doorman’s desk. The door man and landlord were both gathered around him and upon seeing their savior lit up with excitement.

“Mr. Kinkade I do apologize for bothering you at such an unspeakable hour but Mr. Zero seems to—” the doorman tried to explain.

“Be a drunk idiot?” Jude interrupted.

“WhO are ya calling idiot ya stupid?” Zero pointed at Jude who sighed and walked over to him. He leaned down to try and get a better grip around him to help him stand.

“Oh we tried that Mr. Kinkade. We both did and he just won’t move. He’s so muscular that he just fights every time we—” the landlord watched as Zero stood leaning on Jude. 

“I’m sorry guys. He’s going through something right now but I’ve got it from here.” Jude said with a polite almost sad smile.

“Tell him I'm cancellin mah lease. You.” Zero continued, touching Jude’s face, “You’re so pretty. I wish I hada boyfriend like you.” 

“You did.” Jude said, “But you broke up with him.”

They stumbled into Zero’s apartment and Jude helped him to his bed. 

“I think…I think i’m gonna be—” Zero ran to the bathroom. Jude sighed. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water for the drunk in the bathroom. 

Jude handed Zero the water and crouched down next to him. He was leaning on the toilet, “You hate me don’t chu?”

“Right now? A little bit yeah.” He said looking at Zero devoid of emotion.

“So honest.” Zero smiled.

“It’s not like you’ll remember.” He answered. 

He helped him change and get back into bed as he started cleaning the bathroom.


	2. Do You Want an Omelette??!?!?!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Zero gets drunk.
> 
> They talk. (/□＼*)・゜

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always down to try something a bit different and I know my pieces are kinda long so i'm gonna try and make these short. I'll still have longer pieces but I'll try and tell this storyline in smaller chunks. (We all know they're gonna get longer and longer but we'll see how long I can keep it up lol)

“Oh..my…god. I’m dying.” Zero spoke softly. His head was throbbing and he could taste vomit in his mouth as the sun shone on his face through the window. He jumped up, immediately regretting his quick movements, and went to brush his teeth.

As he was brushing he looked around the clean bathroom. ‘At least I didn’t make a mess’ he thought. A loud noise clanked from the kitchen and Zero groaned in pain as he finished. 

The smell of scrambled eggs filled the air and Zero was disgusted. He made his way to the kitchen and saw Jude at the stove. Suddenly he remembered last night as Jude turned around and they were face to face.

“Do you want an omelette!??!?!!” Jude asked loudly.

“Can you not, please.” Zero pleaded as he sat down. 

Jude also sat down and ate his omelette without speaking. Zero took a deep breath and finally broke the silence, “About that message…”

“Oh you mean the one where you ended things with me? Is that the one you’re talking about?” Jude remarked snidely. 

“Yeah, that would be the one…listen I…” Zero hesitated.

“What do you want Zero? Do you want to break up like you said?” Jude asked point blank.

Zero looked down unable to make eye contact with Jude who stared at him intently, “…No I just…I don’t want to break up.”

“Then we won’t.” Jude said turning his attention back to his omelette. 

“You’re not mad?” Zero asked, afraid of the answer.

“No. I’m hurt. If this is going to happen and it looks like it is then every second together counts. You wasted a very precious night we could have had together by going out and drinking yourself away. And for what? So you could be alone? You’ll have plenty of time for that soon enough." He paused and thought for a moment, "Actually I was wrong. I am mad. In fact. I’m fucking pissed.” He answered pushing a gigantic fork full of omelette into his mouth finishing it off. 

Zero looked at his love and whether it was the hangover or the heartache his entire body hurt. “I’m scared,” he admitted. “I don’t remember how to live without you. I don’t know if I can go back to being alone but I don’t have a choice now.”

Every now and then Zero would have flashes of complete transparency where he would let Jude peer into his chest and see straight into his heart. 

Jude sighed. “We can talk, text and Skype or facetime. We’ll be ok. I’ll come see you as much as I can and when the season settles down you can come to LA. You’re not only my boyfriend but you’re my best friend too,” He said. “We’ll do what we have to because I won’t be ok without you either. I’ve long gone past the point where I can live without you.”

“Then come-” Zero stopped himself.

“With you?” Jude finished his sentence for him. “I can’t.”

“I know.” Zero responded.

“Lionel…” Jude looked down.

“I KNOW!” Zero shouted. They sat silently for a moment. 

Zero ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “I guess...I guess I’ll get started packing.”


	3. 3 hours and 55 minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero and Jude pack up his apartment. (◍•﹏•)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always down to try something a bit different and I know my pieces are kinda long so i'm gonna try and make these short. I'll still have longer pieces but I'll try and tell this storyline in smaller chunks. (We all know they're gonna get longer and longer but we'll see how long I can keep it up lol)

“3 hours and 55 minutes, 3 hours and 55 minutes, 3 hours and 55 minutes.” Jude said softly over and over to himself as he taped the box shut.

“What are you saying over there?” Zero asked looking very confused.

“Huh? Oh nothing we’re just gonna need more tape.” He answered. 

“I have to get as much ready as I can before I leave. Most of this will go into storage but all that over there definitely has to come with me eventually.” He pointed near Jude who looked at all the boxes around him. 

“You’re not taking a lot of clothes.” Jude observed.

“Nah I’ll have to go shopping once I get there anyways. The summers I could handle but the winters are going to be a bitch and it’s already October. I have nothing that can handle those winters. I can’t believe that she traded me mid-season. No, actually she’s a bitch so I can believe it.” Zero said talking more to himself than to Jude. “I guess I just thank god she told me before it went through completely. It gave me a little extra time. Everything was finished up today so I have 72 hours to report to the training camp.”

Jude was silent through all of this and just kept taping boxes. ‘3 hours and 55 minutes,’ he thought.

“I’ll be living out of a hotel for a while so I won’t take much for now. Hey did you get a chance to look at that list of apartments I gave you? I want something you’ll like too.” He smiled at Jude who was bending next to a box taping it shut and not listening to Zero at all. ‘3 hours and 55 minutes,’ he thought.

“Hey,” he called, “Hey!” Jude quickly looked up quickly and said, “Hmm?” without a single bit of happiness on his face.

“Look,” Zero said as he walked over to Jude. He lifted him up and wrapped his arms around him, “I know it’s gonna be hard but we’ll be fine. Just like you said, we can Skype and text and call. You’ll come see me and I’ll come see you. Once Lionel can get away from Oscar you can just come straight to me. I’ll have things all set up so you have a home to come to.” He tried to console his boyfriend as they swayed a bit back and forth hugging each other. 

Zero kissed him with a vibrant kiss that muddied his mind and made him weak at the knees. It was the type of kiss that frightened Jude because he knew there was nothing else like it in existence and he felt it slipping through his fingers. He took that kiss for granted and now felt like he owed the entire world an apology for doing so. ’3 hours and 55 minutes,’ he thought.

Zero had been overly sweet since his drinking episode the other night, and while Jude did enjoy it, he also found it a tad unsettling. Everything about this was unsettling. Jude had been trying his best to keep all his concerns at bay but with each box that was closed they threatened to spill over more and more. Cracks were forming in the damn that held back every tumultuous fear and Jude could feel this impending doom reach out from those cracks and, as if made of sticky black tar, try to grab him and pull him in. 

“I don’t know what I was so scared of. Chicago is just a 3 hour and 55 minute flight away. It’s not bad at all. And truth be told the Bulls are a pretty decent team.” Zero said still holding Jude.

‘That’s actually very far away.’ Jude thought to himself as he squeezed Zero tighter.


	4. Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero goes through his days without Jude. (.﹒︠₋﹒︡.)

Everyday there was something new Zero had to overcome. Signing the lease for an apartment, finding furniture, getting warmer clothes, a new car, changing insurances stocking his new place. The first day in his new loft he went to shower and discovered he'd forgotten to buy shampoo and soap. He cursed under his breath, ‘There’s always fucking something.’ 

Relocating mid season was the most stressful thing he could imagine. Not to mention the training and trying to give 100% during games to prove himself to these new teammates. 

However as time went on things became easier. This team was an actual team and everyone, while at first apprehensive, seemed to welcome him after a while. They’d even ask how Jude was and how he was settling in and offered any help to make the move easier. 

Zero was shocked. LA was so toxic that he never imagined a place where he didn’t have to fight and claw at others everyday. But that could also be because his way of thinking shifted. 

He no longer cared about being number one. He only cared about Jude and the game, and the freedom from that self imposed pressure made him play better than ever before. Everyday he actually enjoyed going to practice and working his ass off. Home was quiet but nice. The only thing missing was his heart. 

Jude and he would set up phone dates and occasionally FaceTime; those dates became sustenance for his lifeless soul. They became the most precious parts of his week and he would move mountains to revolve around them. 

Everyone knew when he had a date planned because it’s all he could talk about and the next day he would be all smiles. Behind his back the other players would call him the ‘Smitten Kitten’ because it was only after seeing or hearing Jude that he seemed to be the happiest and most full of life.

Zero looked at his hands and wondered how many hours had gone by since they last touched Jude. He touched his lips and wondered how many minutes had gone by since they tasted any part of him. He missed him to the point of heartache and the only way to keep from losing himself to that pain was to keep busy. So that’s what he did.

He went out with the other players and made friends for the first time in a long time. One of the players, Mike, even introduced Zero to his family and they all went out a few times. 

One day Mike’s daughter wanted to go ice skating and she taught Zero how. Zero knew how to skate and surf but ice skating was a first and he was almost as bad at that as he was at tennis.

‘I wouldn’t mind a daughter one day. Should I bring it up during our next date? Maybe it would be better in person. Is it too soon?’ he thought to himself as the girl in braided pigtails asked for the marshmallows in his hot chocolate. ‘Jude would make a great Dad. Maybe we could even get twins, that would be cute. Ok maybe not. That would be tough to handle,’ he thought to himself as he fed her the marshmallows smiling like a fool. 

He liked this place and Mike had even convinced him to take some cooking classes with some of his spare time instead of staring at his phone. Zero couldn’t wait to try and cook for Jude as a surprise. Sure Zero was soul crushingly lonely but if he stayed busy he didn’t even have time to notice half the time. He put what was left of his heart into his game and just like that he could make it through the day.

Time was going by quickly and Zero was keeping himself busy, so quickly and busy in fact that one morning, as he woke up and made some coffee, he realized that he had forgotten a phone date with Jude the night before. He looked at the missed calls on his phone and at the calendar that had the day before circled in red and trembled as he thought, ‘How could I have forgotten him.’


	5. Jude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude has been coping with Zero's departure. (.﹒︠₋﹒︡.)
> 
> Jude and Lionel have dinner.

“Honestly it’s ok.” Jude tried to console Zero over the phone as he entered his apartment. “I understand really I’m not mad at all. Zer-…Zero— can you let me tal—- Gideon!” Jude shouted.

“These things are going to happen. We have to live our lives as well as try and make time for each other. It’s ok. I know you’re busy and no I never thought you forgot about me. You’re always thinking about me right? I am too. This is gonna happen sometimes and I expect you not to freak out if I miss a few phone dates as well. Besides I was pretty tired last night. Work has been killing me. Jelena? She’s as awful as always but she didn’t have to let me keep my job so I’ve dealt with worse. Ok I gotta go. Lionel wants to meet of dinner. Hey, don’t worry about this. I love you. Ok…bye.”

Jude breathed out deeply when he hung up the phone. This was so much harder than he thought but the way Zero freaked out made him giggle to himself. 

It took a while for Jude to adjust to life without Zero and even now, a month later, he still wasn’t doing well. He would talk out loud to what would always end up being himself. After his showers he’d half expect Zero to be sitting on his bed waiting for him to get out so that he could pull him in to a life giving kiss full of passion, but Jude was alone. He was always alone in that apartment. There was no one waiting on him. No one to care if he showered, ate or took care of himself. No one to keep the loneliness at bay and share his home with. No one at all.

When Jelena called and told him he’d be keeping his job if he wanted he couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know the legalities of business like he did and said that until he lived out his usefulness he could stay. 

Jude was saved by this job. He couldn’t be with Lionel 24/7 so this job gave him something he could pour himself into. And that’s what he did. Business meetings, luncheons, contract negotiations all of it fell to him and he was happy to bury himself in work. 

 

“How’s the whole long distance thing?” Lionel asked from across the dinner table later that night.

“It’s hard. I knew it would be, but…it’s definitely hard.” He answered ripping his dinner roll apart. 

“That poor piece of bread did nothing to you.” She remarked and Jude softly chuckled. 

“How’s Oscar? Anything going on?” He asked.

“Nope. I don’t know what he’s doing but he just mentions how i’ll be sorry if I try to run so i’ll be staying right here.” She paused, “You know you can go to Chicago. I want you to. There’s no need for you to be stuck here to.” She said looking at Jude with guilt laden eyes.

“I can’t leave you,” he responded 

“Honestly, what can you do though. What do you think you can do for me Jude? I need help but there isn’t a damn thing YOU can do.” She said with a frustrated tone.

“I can make sure you’re not alone.” He said looking at her warmly.

She held his hand across the table and he could see the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “Thanks Jude.” She conceded in an apologetic tone. “I’m really sorry I got us into this.”


	6. Two Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phone date between Zero and Jude (°◡°♡).:｡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a phone conversation but I didn't know how to write it without the repetitive 'he saids' so I did it like this. Sorry if it's a bit weird. Anyways they're on their phone date and Z: means Zero is talking and J: means Jude is talking and anything in italics is narrative.

J: No I will not!

Z: Just one picture please? All you have to do is lift up your shirt and snap a picture. I need new pics.

J: New pics? How many old pics do you have??

_Zero put Jude on speaker and scrolled through his phone._

Z: I don’t know…like 100? Maybe? Give or take. There’s a couple of you sleeping, in the shower, making lunch or something, more sleeping, in this one you’re just sitting down, putting on your suit, sleeping and just stuff like that. But i’ve already looked at them all a million times already. I need some new material.

J: Material for what exactly??

Z: You know…I’m over here all alone and I’m self employed now since I can’t get any jobs from you. So…I gotta handle my own business.

J: You…I can’t….

Z: So you don’t think of me when you…

J: Ok let’s talk about something else. How cold is it over there??

Z: Really the weather…you want to discuss the weather?

J: Don’t be rude. I don’t leave LA often so I don’t get to see snow. Is it snowing? I saw on the weather channel that you got snow.

Z: You’re like a kid. Yeah it snowed. It’s so fucking cold. I wish you were here. Then you could see it all and we could have hot chocolate and cuddle up together.

J: You have this all planned out don’t you?

Z: You have no idea. I’m gonna date the crap out of you.

J: That’s so romantic.

Z: Are you so touched that you’re about to cry?

J: Shut up. How’s the team?

Z: It's good. Everyone is still really nice. Especially Mike, he's a good guy. You know when I went ice skating with him and his daughter that was the most fun i’ve had since I got here. We should go when you come. Speaking of which two weeks right? 

J: Yeah two weeks. My flight is booked and I already made arrangements to be out for 5 days. But we talk almost every day now so we won’t have anything new to say to each other.

Z: Who said anything about talking.

_Jude rolled his eyes._

J: You’re smiling right now aren’t you?

Z: Nope.

J: Stop it.

_Jude could hear him giggle over the phone._

Z: I miss you.

J: Me too. Oh, someone is on the other line hold on..

Z: Don’t they know this is my time!!!!!

 

J:….hey i’m gonna have to talk to you later.

Z: Everything ok?

J: …..yeah. I’ll just talk to you later.

 

_Zero had no idea he wouldn’t hear from Jude for the next two weeks._


	7. Hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero wonders where Jude is (╯•﹏•╰)

“Almost Two weeks! TWO FUCKING WEEKS!!!” Zero yelled at his bathroom sink. Another night went by and he had heard nothing from Jude. He tried calling and calling, he texted, emailed, facebooked, tweeted everything short of smoke signals and carrier pigeons but nothing. It took everything he had not to put out an amber/missing persons/silver alert.

When he called Lionel she said that Jude was handling some important business and would call him when he was ready, but he couldn’t get any more out of her.

“What could he be doing that he can’t spare 5 minutes to just let me know he’s ok. Would that kill him? Would 5 minutes really be the end of the world. NO. It wouldn’t.” Zero had gotten in the habit of talking to himself these days. But some things he didn’t want to say out loud like, ‘Doesn’t he miss my voice too.’

Zero’s only job that day was to see a physical therapist for some muscle training and when he got home he just laid on his couch. He kept replaying their last conversation in his mind over and over again. He didn’t think he had made him mad. The only thing was that other phone call. Jude had clicked over to answer it and then ended their conversation. Zero mulled over it again and again as the night went on. 

It was already late when there was a knock at the door and Zero looked up from his phone. He got up off the couch, “It better not be that damn neighbor again. He still hasn’t given me back my food processor.” Zero opened the door and a brunette man stood in the doorway. For a moment Zero wondered if he had fallen asleep on the couch and was now dreaming. 

“Hey,” Jude said.

Zero swallowed hard. “Hey,” is all he could muster out of his dry mouth. He looked at Jude like he was looking at a ghost. Afraid to touch him or move because he might disappear from his sight. 

“So I know that I’ve been a little MIA for a while but I was taking care of some stuff and I’m all done now so here I am. All yours. And for 10 full days too.” Jude walked into Zero’s loft with a giant suitcase behind him. 

“I’m actually pretty beat. Do you mind if I shower?” Jude asked Zero who was still staring at him from the opened doorway. He blinked rapidly and shut the door.

“Uhh, yeah definitely. It’s over here.” Zero showed Jude to the shower since this was his first visit. 

“Thanks,” Jude smiled but it wasn’t his usual warm heartfelt smile and instead of butterflies gave Zero uneasy feeling. 

Zero waited impatiently for Jude to come out of the shower. He sat hunched over resting his elbows on his knees and was fidgeting uncontrollably. He was wringing his hands and looking at the wall.

_Where have you been? What was going on? What were you doing? Why couldn’t you call? Who were you with? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you contact me? Why couldn’t I reach you? Were you in trouble?_

All these thoughts swirled in Zero’s mind until he saw Jude come out of the shower. He was still slightly damp so his clothes stuck to him as he sat on the other side of the massive couch. “Ah. I feel much better.” He said turning towards Zero.

“Y-You look thinner.” Zero noticed, now seeing him out of his sweater and jacket, “and kinda tired and pale,” now having the courage to look him in the face. 

Jude ran his finger through his hair, “Yeah I haven’t been hungry lately and my sleeping’s been a bit messed up. I know you weren’t expecting me for a day or so but can we have dinner together tomorrow? I know you might be busy.”

“No that’s totally fine. I only have a half day tomorrow so it works out.” Zero responded. He sat there just staring at Jude. This was him but it didn’t feel real. 

“Did I come at a bad time? You don’t seem happy to see me. You haven’t even touched or kissed me yet and that is VERY strange.” Jude said looking slightly worried. 

“No…I had a dream like this a couple times and I just…” Zero trailed off.

Jude got up and walked over to him. He leaned over and kissed Zero softly. Zero shuddered at the feeling. He had been craving these soft lips for almost two months now. 

Jude looked him in the eyes and while they seemed tired and dulled they were his. Zero turned his head slightly and kissed Jude again, this time deeper and more forcefully. He pushed his tongue inside and pressed it against Jude’s tasting the soft sweetness of his lips. 

Jude sat on his lap and pressed his body against Zero’s. Zero reached into Jude’s shirt tracing up his spine with his finger tips and Jude let out a soft moan into Zero’s mouth as they kissed. Jude was gently moving his hips back and forth on Zero’s lap as he trembled lightly pressing himself against his man. His arms were draped around Zero’s neck and found their way to his biceps and muscular chest. Everywhere Jude touched him burned with heat and desire.

Zero buried his face into Jude’s chest and breathed him in as his hands both slid up his waist lifting his shirt to reveal his soft skin. He sucked and grazed his teeth against the pale flesh making it redden and flush from his touch. He kissed his chest gently and squeezed him tightly listening to the sound of his softly thumping heart. 

“Take me to bed,’ Jude’s whispered with lips so close to Zero’s ear that they ever so slightly touched him burning him with heat, and Zero complied.


	8. Not a Small Thing

Zero opened his eyes to a head full of chocolate brown hair and everything seemed right in the world. He wrapped his arms snugly around Jude and pulled him close. Their night of love making had been rough and passionate but my god was it fantastic. Jude’s eyes were still closed as he stretched and yawned, “Good morning.” Zero smiled like an idiot as he kissed his cheek and got up. 

“I gotta be at practice soon but i’ll be back in 4 hours. Will you be ok?” He asked with the utmost sincerity.

Jude finally opened his eyes which were still dull and tired, “Of course I will be. I’m not a child.” Zero leaned over and kissed him again.

“Good.” He said with enthusiasm.

 

“So what did he say he was doing for two weeks?” Mike asked.

“Uhh, well I didn’t ask. You know I figured he’ll tell me when he’s ready. If it were big i’m sure he’d mention it.” Zero was trying to convince himself of all of this as well.

“So you didn’t ask and he didn’t say. So you guys just….all night…? Hey if that’s fine with you then that’s cool but I had to hear you complain for two weeks and I don’t think a satisfying night together is gonna be good enough when you start thinking with this head again.” Mike said tapping Zero’s blond hair.

Zero laughed and said, “It’s not like i’m never gonna ask. I’m just gonna give him some time.”

The day went on like a dream. Zero finished with practice and took Jude out shopping for a warmer coat, he had definitely lost weight, and they spent the day together. He took him to the museum after lunch and they got hot chocolate, though ice skating would have to wait for another day since the rink was closed.

It was really an amazing day. But sometimes Zero would notice what seemed like the slightest bit of sadness flash on Jude’s face. Sometimes it was sadness, sometimes pain but it only ever lasted an instant and it was gone, so quickly Zero wondered if he had imagined it.

 

Back at the loft it was already very late and they were cuddled up together watching a movie. 

“Hey, i’m pretty close to this place, grant park, it’s right next to Lake Michigan. You wanna go tomorrow. They have these large fountains, though they’ll probably be iced over but it’s a really special place.” Zero asked. 

“Yeah, lets go.” Jude got up.

“Right now? Its almost midnight. It’s closed.” Zero looked at Jude extremely confused.

“Come on. I’m not tired and i’m not really paying attention to this movie. Lets go? We can just sneak around it’ll be fun.” Jude pleaded. This was incredibly unlike Jude and Zero didn’t really know how to respond with anything other than sure.

Jude went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

“No, we’re not allowed to have alcohol there.” Zero informed.

“I thought you used to be a bad boy? What happened? Besides we’ll need this to stay warm.” Jude teased. Zero smiled though he didn’t find that amusing and once again yielded. 

Jude smiled but something still didn’t feel right to Zero, “I’m gonna hit the restroom to freshen up a bit and we can go before you change your mind.”

Jude ran off before Zero could say anything. 

Jude’s phone lit up on the table showing he received a message. Zero wanted to look so badly but restrained himself.

His own phone rang shortly after and it was Lionel, “Hey Lionel?” Zero said surprised at her call.

“Is Jude there? He won’t answer my texts and I’m worried.” Lionel’s voice was almost distraught.

“Yeah he’s here.” Zero answered.

“Have you talked to him?” She asked. 

“About what?” Zero was getting frustrated. 

“Never mind.” She said and ended the call.

‘How annoying.’ he thought.

Jude’s phone lit up again and this time Zero let out a deep sigh and read the message. 

_This is not a small thing. You need to tell him. Maybe he can help you because you won’t listen to me anymore. Your mother died Jude. It’s ok to cry. That doesn’t make you weak._

_—Lionel_


	9. Elizabeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude talks about his mother (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Jude smiled as he threw a rock into the lake watching ripples spread from it’s impact. He drank from the bottle of whiskey and looked around the park that was dead and dark. Icicles dripped from the tress and shimmered as they captured some random light escaping from the surrounding city. Somehow he found it comforting. 

After a long pause Zero swallowed hard and began talking. “Are you not going to tell me? I know what happened.” He asked softly as he looked on.

Jude froze in place immediately aware of where this was headed. Alarms went off in his head as he blinked slowly and turned around leaning against the railing. “What do you want me to say. You already know. Right?” He said coldly and shrugged his shoulders, “Are we really gonna do this?” 

“Yeah, we are. Jude, your mother died.” He responded.

“Nooo…Elizabeth Monroe died.” Jude said without emotion.

“She was your mother Jude.” Zero said in a voice meant to console. Jude took another drink.

“No she wasn’t. She was an awful woman and I don’t talk about her.” He said looking at Zero with cold eyes he had never seen before. It was as if all the light had been drown out with darkness.

“You’re upset. Lionel said you haven’t even cried. You don’t have to but you’re clearly not ok. I know this is painful but you can’t keep everything inside it’s not good for you.” Zero pleaded wearing this helpless look on his face. But Jude seemed disinterested. “Jude!”

“What?? What do you want from me??” Jude shouted stepping away from the rail taking a couple of long drinks. He was laughing as he continued. “What’s to cry about?? That woman was never around! The only way I would even know she was home was if she left money on the table. After I turned 14 I only ever saw her 6 or 7 times before I eventually moved out. And then never agin till that damn funeral.” 

“And mother?? Please! She’s the one who wouldn’t let me call her that. ‘Elizabeth, you’ll call me Elizabeth because the sound of you calling me mother makes me sick.’ If I ever slipped up and called her mom….there’s a scar for every time it happened.” Jude wouldn’t make eye contact with Zero but chuckled as he continued to reminisce.

“You know one time she got drunk and locked me in the basement. She had been screaming about how much she hated looking at me because I was his son. It was over a day before the housekeeper found me and when she called that woman and told her what happened, you wanna know what she said?” Jude asked.

Zero had never heard these things before. He knew their relationship was complicated but never imagined anything like this.

“She said, ‘If it’s not dead I don’t see what the problem is.’ So what? You both want me to cry?? FOR HER?” Jude was screaming but still ended with a smile and giggle as he drunkenly took another long drink. “Why do you think I tried so hard for Oscar’s love. I figured they both couldn’t possibly….despise me, but I was wrong.”

Zero had never felt so much pain for someone else. And what hurt him most was that smile. 

Jude showed it when his only other option was to cry. When he wore this smile it was because the sadness and heartache he was feeling was so great it threatened to wither him away into nothing burying the ashes.

“I’ve never heard you talk about all this.” Zero said swallowing back his own shock and sadness.

Jude took a long swig, “That’s because you never really asked.” He answered piercing Zero with cold dead eyes. 

Zero walked closer to him and tried to take the bottle away from Jude who simply tossed it on the ground instead. “That’s not fair. I did ask you about her many times but you always just brushed me off. I thought you would tell me if and when you were ready.” He proclaimed reaching towards Jude trying to hold him.

“Then why bring this up now??” Jude shouted as he shoved Zero away making him fall back. 

“Because you’re hurting and you’re not letting anyone help you.” He answered from the ground, “You need someone, anyone!”

“Actually, right now I don’t think I do.” Jude said softly turning to walk away but Zero grabbed him by the ankle and puled him down onto the ground and into his lap. 

Jude struggled as Zero held him by the waist with one hand and touched his face with the other. They locked eyes and Jude tried to push him away digging his nails into Zero’s chest but he wouldn’t let him go. They looked at each other and were both breathing warm heavy clouds into the cold air. The smile was long gone from Jude’s lips and pain lit up his face instead.

“She was such an awful person. So why…” He said digging his nails even deeper into Zero. “Why do I wish I could have just once heard her say she loved me? Why am I so sad over someone like her?” 

Tears pooled in his eyes making them shine and glitter and all the light seemed to rush back. Zero pushed his forehead against Jude’s and Jude relaxed his hands and wrapped his arms around Zero tightly as if he were afraid he would fade away. Zero could feel a warm dampness grow on his shirt as Jude tried, in vain, to stifle his sobs.

“Because you are the kindest most beautifully gentle person I have ever known.” Zero whispered. “And I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

For the first time, Jude mourned his mother.


	10. I Can't Stay Here

Zero stared at Jude who was still sleeping soundly in his bed. He had tossed and turned all night long not getting a wink of sleep, but staring at Jude made him completely unaware of how tired he was. He watched the soft up and down movements of Jude’s chest as he breathed gently. 

‘How could I have missed this. I should have been there. If I had been there it would’ve been different. I could have supported him. I could have gotten him to eat and he wouldn’t have lost so much weight. I could have held him while he tried to sleep so he didn’t run himself into the ground in grief. I should have been right by his side so he wouldn’t have retreated into himself like this. He closed himself off but no one can reach him like I can. I should have been there.’ Zero’s mind was a storm of guilt and anger. ‘Never again,’ he thought to himself.

“I can’t stay here.” He said softly.

“Huh?” Jude said as he squinted his eyes trying to get them to adjust to the light.

Zero got up quickly and walked over to the bed. He caressed Jude’s soft fluffy hair and stroked his cheek gently asking, “Did you sleep ok?”

“Better than I have in a while, yeah.” He said looking a bit embarrassed. He looked up at Zero with his big green eyes and Zero could feel himself melt. He sat down next to Jude and pulled him into a hug. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you.” Jude whispered, “I’m sorry, for everything. I just sort of…unraveled on my own like an idiot.”

“No, you don’t ever have to apologize to me. And you can unravel all you want.” He said as he twirled Jude’s hair with his finger. “I’ll always help put you back together. You did the same for me.” He held him close and started thinking about how he could get back to LA where he belonged.

 

“You want WHAT now??” Mike said looking up at Zero completely astonished by what he was hearing. 

“If I get MVP I know I can get back on the Devils. I have to get back to LA. I was fooling myself into thinking I could stay here, but I can’t. Jude belongs in LA and I belong with Jude. I’ll play ball anywhere but I have to be with him.” Zero explained. 

“We’re talking about scoring over two thousand points by yourself by the end of the season. AND not to mention us winning the championship!” Mike looked at Zero like he was crazy.

“We don’t HAVE to win for me to get MVP.” Zero said as he packed up his bag to head home for the day. 

“That’s only happened once and it was like 50 years ago.” Mike was practically laughing at this ridiculous proposition. 

“That means there’s precedent. And that’s all I need. I’m going for it. You don’t have to help me but I could sure use it if you decide to.” Zero said looking at Mike pleadingly.

Mike just shook his head in disbelief, “…sure whatever you need brother. But you’re gonna have to kill yourself during every game for this. We’re talking work yourself to the bare bones till the end of the season and even then it’s not a guarantee.” Zero nodded in agreement. “Man, Jude must sure be something special.” He said as he patted Zero’s shoulder.

“You have no idea.” He answered softly.


	11. Long Shot

Jude stumbled and his legs wobbled like a newborn dear making Zero’s heart burst with love from the sight. He had been really terrible at ice skating at first but caught on quickly and now was trying to teach Jude. Jude, however, simply did not believe people were meant to skate on ice and panicked every time he almost fell. Zero smiled at him so warmly Jude forgot he was cold for a moment. 

After a long talk with tears and painful memories, over the course of a few days, Zero felt closer to Jude than ever before. He also felt more determined than ever before as well. 

They stopped next to a rail so Jude could hold himself up. 

“I’m gonna get pretty busy soon.” Zero looked at Jude concerned. “I think I found a way to get back to LA but it’s gonna take a lot of work and even then it’s a long shot. I just need you to bear with me for a few months. Can you do that? You think? Please.”

“You think you can come back?” Jude asked surprised. “How? Yeah, I’ll do anything for you to come back.” He said holding Zero’s jacket, in part because he wanted to be closer to him and in part because he was scared of falling down. 

“Just trust me.” Zero said kissing him softly. As they kissed, small puffy snowflakes began to fall and fluff to the ground. Jude looked up and smiled the most beautiful smile Zero had ever seen. Little snowflakes nestled themselves into Jude’s lashes and his cheeks flushed the lightest color of pink from the cold. Zero held him, completely captivated, “I’ll definitely find my way back home to you. No matter what.” He said. 

 

The months went by and every NBA fan, at one point or another, sat in amazement of Zero. He had tightened up every part of his game that had been lacking in any way and put in countless hours of extra training. He was taking better care of his body to meet the harsh physical demands he was making and everything showed on the court. Zero became the biggest worry for every team going against the Bulls that season and everyone was talking about how he deserved MVP. 

Largely because of Zero, the Bulls made it all the way to the NBA Conference Finals, but their journey ended there just short of the playoffs. A part of Zero was devastated. There were other just as deserving players in the league and they always picked the MVP from the winning championship team. Except for once. Zero hung his hopes and dreams on that one freak instance. 

It was almost time. The championship was over and there were so many amazing players to choose from that Zero soon lost hope and started considering negotiations with the Golden State Warriors in Oakland. At the very least, no matter what, he wanted to be in California. 

Then the announcement came, and the NBA MVP for that year was Zero.


	12. Come Home

“Zero has already publicly declared interest in coming back to the Devils. You have to make a statement.” Jude said to Jelena who sat at her desk completely unmoved.

“The answer is no.” She said haughtily. “I finally got rid of that eye sore i’m not about to bring him here again. So, no.”

“Marcus Douglas is pushing for this hard. He’s always been one of Zero’s loudest supporters and now he’s practically foaming at the mouth for him to come back.” Jude looked at her but she didn’t seem to be affected.

“Jelena,” Jude hesitated greatly before his next words but then took a deep breath and continued, “You lost Terrance. Do you want to lose the team too? What will you have then?”

“Are you threatening me baby Kinkade?” She said with fire in her eyes.

“No. I’m advising you. Like I have been doing all along. The board will remove you. They’ll say you aren’t acting in the best interest of the team and they will have you removed. And they can. Or at the very least they’ll make your life miserable until they can. This is is an MVP player we're talking about. Every team is tripping over themselves to sign him. Marcus won’t let this go. We both know he won’t, and he has a lot of supporters on the board backing him up. You don’t have nearly the pull with the League that he does and they will-”

“ENOUGH.” She shouted frigidly and inhaled sharply, “Can you keep him on a leash? Can you promise me that he won’t be a big blonde thorn in my side?”

“You know Zero, I can’t MAKE him do anything.” Jude responded.

“Don’t be modest we both know he’s wrapped around your finger. If you ask him to behave he’ll do it….Marcus has already been bugging me about this.” She paused and with a harsh hateful tone said, “Fine…bring the bitch back. Make the announcement. But mark my words one misstep, and I will make every one of you wish he had never been brought here in the first place.”

Jude looked at her with surprise and turned to leave before she could change her mind. 

“You know he got MVP because of you. Or at least, your relationship. Sure he had an extremely impressive season but the only reason they would go with him over someone from the winning team is to make a statement. I hope he knows that.” She said.

“Zero worked himself extremely hard and was the top scoring athlete for this season. A man in a same sex relationship getting the respect and recognition he deserves for his talent is a pretty positive statement to me.” Jude smiled softly and walked out of her office. 

He released a statement to the press and called Zero. 

“Hey,” he said over the phone. “Come home.”


	13. Same Page

“I signed the deal today,” Zero said as Jude walked into his apartment. This familiar sight had been going on for a few weeks now but every time he opened his door to see Zero there his heartbeat quickened. 

“And it’s iron clad! No trades, no cuts, no bench unless i’m hurt, enough money to make even Derek Roman jealous and for 5 years.” He proudly proclaimed. Jude smiled brightly at him. “Hey I got a surprise for you.” Zero said and grabbed him hand and the car keys.

“Where are we going?” Jude asked as he looked around searching for clues to their destination. Things seemed vaguely familiar but he still wasn’t completely sure. They pulled into the gated driveway of a massive home with an astonishing yard. They both got out of the car and Jude looked at the ridiculous house in awe.

“I could really use that money too, because building this really took it’s toll on my little piggy bank.” Zero said as he tossed a set of keys at Jude who stared opened mouthed at the home.

“This is….how did you-” Jude tried to get the words out but Zero just held his hand and led him inside. The foyer sat under a beautiful chandelier and a slightly curved staircase led to the upper floor. 

“I may not have known when I was coming back but I knew I would, so I had the house finished. I wanted to ask your opinion so many times but I also wanted it to be a surprise.” Zero explained. “If there’s anything at all you don’t like just tell me and i’ll fix it right away.”

“This is absolutely massive.” Jude said completely in shock. “How many room are there???” 

Zero smiled, “Well, there’s the kitchen, library, study, a laundry room, 2 bedrooms downstairs, dining room, family room, 4 bedrooms upstairs and 7 bathrooms in total as well as a 2 bedroom guest house in the back yard passed the pool and basketball court,” he said

Jude’s eyes grew even wider and he said, “Are you insane!?! It’s just the two of us and we need ONE room! ONE!!! What the hell is wrong with you??” 

Zero smiled at him and walked them over towards the banister where Zero placed his hand. Jude saw a ribbon attached to the edge and a platinum wedding band hung from it. 

Zero grabbed him and was suddenly standing face to face with Jude so close he could feel his breath on his lips. 

“You know if there’s one thing that all of this has confirmed beyond doubt for me, it’s that I can’t live without you. I don’t want to. I want to spend every single day together with you making each other happy. I want you to be my husband and for me to be yours. Marry me,” he said. He untied the ribbon and got down on one knee presenting the ring to Jude and the inside read “You and me.” 

Jude looked at it and shook his head as he chuckled to himself. “Get up stupid.” He said and reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring as well. 

“Your proposal is a lot nicer but i’m glad we’re on the same page at least.” He said smiling happily. 

Zero was immensely surprised and smiled so brightly he could feel his cheeks start to hurt. He grabbed Jude’s hand and placed the ring on his finger and held out his own hand for Jude to do the same. 

“Now this doesn’t mean we need all these rooms what ar-“ Jude began as he gently put the ring on Zero’s finger but was stopped by his lips and a passionate embrace as he had finished.

Zero hugged him so tightly and kissed him so forcefully that Jude saw stars as he tried to gasp for breath. 

“Jude let’s get married, have kids and grow old and wrinkly here together.” He said. 

Jude draped his hands around Zero and responded “That sounds pretty perfect to me.” He said and kissed Zero softly, “Wait!…how many kids??” Jude questioned thinking back to all the rooms. 

“Well two can fit in each room so…that’s like 8 rooms…carry the two..” Zero teased as he pretended to do the math in his head.

“NO! No no no.” Jude protested as he let go of his soon to be husband and started walking up the stairs to look at their room in particular. Zero followed after him, “They’ll each want a pet so we’ll get like 10 dogs and 20 guinea pigs a dozen rabbits..” 

“NO!” Jude said walking faster and Zero followed in turn, “There’s enough room for a petting zoo out back so we can get a pony!” Zero joked and wrapped his arms around Jude who had stopped at the master bedroom. Zero kissed his hair and hugged him close. 

“Thank you for bearing with me,” He said to Jude who leaned into his embrace even more.

“How could I not? You’re all I ever wanted.” He said and kissed his cheek.

They locked eyes and Zero knew that not a day would go by that he wouldn’t thank the world for the moment they met each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a pleasure writing this and I thank everyone for all your lovely comments and support! I wrote it quickly because I was having so much fun lol. Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully enjoy. If anyone feels like reading some stories with Zero/Jude after they get married and have kids I do have some fluffy one shots in a series called 'children'.


End file.
